It’s daunting to think that there are people who are so turned off by their spouse that they’d prefer death over s*x with them.
This was the miserable reality for one woman who believes she married a
sεex addict. In a candid blog post about her short-lived happy marriage,
she explains how she and her now-ex-husband enjoyed the excitement of
sεex in the initial stages of their relationship, but as their
fast-paced relationship continued to develop — they dated and married in
the same year — it became evident to her that the man she married was
attempting to “own” her body.
“My ex-husband truly believed he owned my body and that I was in the
wrong if I ever denied him access,” the unidentified writer wrote. ”When
I wouldn’t give in to his advances because I was friggin’ tired from
taking care of little kids, or not feeling well, or just because I
didn’t feel like it right then, he would coldly turn his back on me and
heave deep sighs of put-upon-ness, and I would cry myself to sleep
because I just wanted to feel loved without having to have sεex.”
She admits that there were warning signs in the beginning that she had
failed to take seriously: “One of the red flags I had ignored early on
in our relationship was his comment that there was no point in touching
if it wasn’t going to lead to sεex.”
She revealed that her then-husband would tell her he was being
considerate of her lack of desire for intimacy by requesting sεex once
daily, as opposed to 2-3 times per day, which is truly the amount of
intimacy he wanted. “I didn’t realize I’d married a seεx addict until
years after our wedding day. We only dated for a few months before we
got married, so basically I was still in sεex-addict mode myself when I
promised to love him until I died,” she wrote, adding a startling
revelation, “Eventually, I’d start wishing I were dieαd.”
The writer continues to share one example after the other about her
ex-husband’s alleged addiction to sεex that eventually led her to
divorce him; but many of the things she stated about him were not
indicative of a sεex addict. What she described was an average man’s
desire for sεex.
According to Florida State University social psychologist Roy
Baumeister, ”Men want s*x more often than women at the start of a
relationship, in the middle of it, and after many years of it.”
If men and women are to make relationships work, we must understand the
importance of intimacy with our partners and develop coping mechanisms
in the event of the absence of s*x.
Otherwise, we’ll just continue to frustrate and confuse one another.
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